You have to be the product of years of living in a fantasy world; a world where reality does not encroach; your understanding of the world has to be that of a rather whimsical child. Either that or you have to be a hard faced huckster with a thick brass neck to emulate Our Majesty the Queen’s latest rip-off. She has asked for a rise in the money she gets from me and you the taxpayers of Britain; timing is everything eh? Unfortunately this is not a joke she really has asked for more money.
As the Royal wasters sit around the breakfast table attended by hot and cold running chambermaids they will no doubt lament their fate as they are reduced to their last couple of hundred million pounds and their last dozen or so castles and stately homes; fabulous cars; decorative coaches; immense collections of art and gifts from every toadying crawler in the world. Big Phil. will no doubt become all nostalgic for the good old days when they could take Ian Davidson Republican Labour M.P. out and “have the bugger shot” Davidson has requested that the Royal Family show the country the books before any such request for more money is considered; clearly a left wing Bolshevik bounder; what!
Will the Govt. agree with Mr. Davidson and ask to see the books; will they find a way of agreeing to the request which will hoodwink the public? It will be the latter probably. £6 Billion of cuts this year, that’s over the next 7 months; ouch! Rising unemployment ouch! Public services cuts ouch! Etc. ouch; etc. ouch; etc. Do they need more money I hear you bellow? well; I am not in a position to properly analyse their actual wealth which I believe to be vast but I can offer a hint as to the amount they are worth without trying to put a figure on it. Consider this; several years ago when Hooray Harry the halfwit prince was in the news for some loutish behaviour or other, a newspaper mentioned that his personal wealth was £8Million; this was a couple of years ago and will be a fair bit more now. Let’s be generous and not go into what he does if anything or how he got such a sum, I could go on all night about how the whole Ruratarian charade is an expensive affront to the nation’s intelligence but, I will content myself with asking you to mull over what they might be worth If this Royal Fool is worth this much. Then consider in turn whether you would award them a rise; you will no doubt be taken aback to learn that I would not give them a wooden nickel.
As I get older I find myself mellowing; honestly I do, if you don’t agree I’ll punch your f*****g heid in right! I would not want to cause undue distress to the ageing monarch and her old Greek retainer Phil. I would propose therefore that they carry on as normal with the proviso that they are to be the last. No more of the Royal extravaganza at our expense; no more cringing with humiliation when they appear on the balcony which creaks with the weight of medals and toy swords being worn by them. It’s now 20 10 and when their time comes it will surely be the moment to issue Charles and Camilla and all the other dim brass necked non producers with directions to the nearest job centre. That would be a good time to start dragging our country into the present and start to make some advancement.
No more Kings; Queens; Princes; Princesses; Lords; Ladies ; flunkies and forelock tuggers; it will not be easy. Ukip; the BNP; The Tories and Libdems and here in Scotland her loyal subjects in the SNP led by the crawling loyal monarchist Alex (the spiv) Salmond will defend her and the good old British Monarchy to the bitter end. No more privileged class; no more, just Citizens! Bring it on.