Saturday, June 28, 2014

PHANTOM VENTRILOQUIST OF OLD RENFREWSHIRE COUNCIL IS EXPOSED.

During the meeting of the council which I covered in my last article I found myself wondering if the snp or any other member of the opposition was in fact a ventriloquist, and a damn good one at that. You see for some time now I have been hearing interruptions from what seems like a female voice from across the chamber when Labour members are speaking. I was beginning to wonder if I was hearing things but my colleagues said they heard the interruptions as well but they unlike me never bothered with them, I however being an inquisitive type became quite determined to find out what was going on. I watched diligently to see if any of them were moving their lips ever so slightly when the mysterious voice sounded, alas to no avail. I then concentrated my efforts on watching to see if anyone was covering their mouth with their hand when the now very spooky voice was speaking , but that was unsuccessful as well. I even took to watching to see if any of them was drinking water as the voice spoke, a trick which only very accomplished ventriloquists can master but still no joy. During the snp’s rabble  and the serial attention seeker’s loss of control the voice was incessant. I resolved to go back to sleep and forget about  it but it was not possible until it suddenly struck me, the voice had ceased and I was looking at the culprit or to be more accurate not looking at the culprit because I was staring at an empty chair, the empty chair and the missing voice were no coincidence. I waited and sure enough the occupant of the empty chair came back and right on cue so did the voice as snp Councillor Mags MacLaren who would not say boo to a goose demurely lowered her head over her papers and started heckling, a rum do right enough eh?. I’m not absolutely sure what all this means and I’m not so sure I want to go there either but there you have it, an snp heckler who does not want to be seen, perhaps she’s shy, perhaps she is shouting out lies and doesn’t want to be challenged, perhaps she is shouting nasty comments ‘a la’ Cybernat style, as i said I don’t want to go there but I’m glad I’ve solved the mystery, even if it has left me feeling a bit uneasy, still, each to his/her own eh?,  at least she has provided a laugh not something you often get from the snp, it wouldn’t do if we were all the same would it?. 

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

"I resolved to go back to sleep and forget about it"
the terry kelly way, think iraq war, think bedroom tax, think pact with tories in better together, think welfare reform, think food banks.
Or just dont think about any of that terry, you just make a mysoginist attack on a hard working councillor, when you rouse from your tax payer funded slumber of course.

Cllr Terry Kelly said...

Anonymous said...Sunday, June 29, 2014 5:18:00 am.

Actually I wasn't really sleeping, I made that bit up, a jocular remark if you will. The joke doesn't really work very well though if you have to explain it to an snp moron like you.

Anonymous said...

You're good at making things up aren't you Kelly?

avanti popolo!

Anonymous said...

Yeah Terry good joke< very funny. you are paid by the taxpayer terry, whether you consider those tax payers to be morons is neither here nor there, they are still entitled to some sort of effort for their money.

Anonymous said...

Read the below Terry, this is from a true public servant, not a responsibility shirker like you. Although I doubt very much this will get through the Terry Kelly self preservation censorship.

Julie Webster of the Maryhill Food Bank, quoted in the Evening Times, 28 June 14:

“I have worked in social work for 20 years, so I am pretty hardened but we had a family come in on a Tuesday at 3pm having not eaten since the ­previous Friday.

There had been a problem with benefits and because it was a Bank Holiday weekend the mum had no money for food for her or her two children.

I watched the mum pick up and put down can after can, wondering what she doing, before I realised she was looking for one with a ring pull.

She ripped the top off and starting eating the beans with her hands, she was so hungry. At that point I had to go to the toilets and have a cry.”

The best of both worlds. As good as it gets. UK OK. Better together. No thanks

Cllr Terry Kelly said...

Anonymous said...Sunday, June 29, 2014 12:44:00 pm.

Well Mr. /Ms Anonymous what a terrible story, a woman and her 2 children going without food for 4 days, did they have to walk several miles in their bare feet through howling winds and driving rain to get there as well?. No wonder you prefer anonymity, what a crock of bulldung. If your social worker with 20 years experience actually exists, you should ask her what caused this catastrophic breakdown in the social work system which has provision to make sure that such an incident could not happen. Hyperbole is difficult to avoid when you are an idiot.

Cllr Terry Kelly said...

Anonymous said...Sunday, June 29, 2014 12:40:00 pm.

Yes it was an amusing story wasn't it?.

Actually I don't consider those tax payers to be morons. I do however consider your fellow Anonymous poster a moron and a coward as well as you.The people who have elected me 4 times seem to be satisfied with the 'effort' I put in.

Cllr Terry Kelly said...

Anonymous said...Sunday, June 29, 2014 11:46:00 am.

Yes I'm good at making up stories but this is 100% true, all the best stories are true. I'm amazed however that people like you with your vast experience of being laughed at still haven't learned how to take a joke.

Anonymous said...

terry read the post again this isn't my social worker this was an article in the labour supporting evening times, but never mind just attack the man ignore tha ball, why would i be surprised its the red tory way.

Alex Salmond loyalist said...

We all sat in the Dundee SNP supporters bar last week clutching our Uruguay betting slips laughing at England. We shall be laughing at them again come September, as this time,the might and political foresight of the Scottish peoples destroys England once and for all.

Cllr Terry Kelly said...

Anonymous said...Sunday, June 29, 2014 5:08:00 pm

I don't care if you read it in the fecking Bible, it's a crock of s**t and you are an idiot.

Cllr Terry Kelly said...

Alex Salmond loyalist said...Sunday, June 29, 2014 5:35:00 pm

There are 2 things wrong with this, 1/ football is not played in Dundee. and 2/ how can you laugh when Scotland are considering sending our ladies football team to contest the next world cup.