COULD THE WEE GREEN MEN FROM MARS BE NO SUPPORTERS?.

Rumors are now circulating about mysterious alien forces employed by the "Better Together" campaign. They claim that BT were able through a hitherto unknown process of osmosis to force yes voters to put their crosses in the NO boxes. Senior government sources have admitted that they feared this might happen because they have been aware of unexplained signs of brain interference in the 'Yes Camp'. Soon to be retired snp chief 'heid banger' alex salmond is said to be incandescent with rage and demanding a full investigation and an immediate re run of the referendum as he rages incoherently about the "Engurlish Bastards" whom he claims "have all goat it infamy".