If anyone ever needed to find a metaphor for the unravelling and embarrassing Yes Campaign, last week’s ‘Battle of Bannockburn’ celebrations was a gift. It was set up by alex (private Baldrick) salmond as a ‘cunning plan’ to get one over on the Engurlish, the No campaign and to stir up bad feeling among the more lumpen of Scots. Those who buy in to this ‘we hate the Engurlish’ idiocy, with his legendary ‘rat like cunning’ he thought he’d had a brainwave, another squalid little devious blow below the belt as is his want. He strutted around as only he can boasting of a magnificent day for Scots. to celebrate beating the reviled Engurlish, the crowd he bragged would be enormous?, predicted to be 45,000 ultimately reduced to 20,000, and that figure wasn’t met either. £66 a ticket, yes you read that right £66 a ticket, a ban on bringing your own refreshments, family friendly right?, this of course was designed to allow the organisers to ‘fleece the tourists’ and those with weans in tow, no readmission to the site either in case you left to buy a ‘fish supper’. Utterly inadequate facilities for those daft enough to attend from a lack of seating to little protection from the elements, yes you read that correctly as well, no protection from the elements at an outdoor event in Scotland!, some poor inadequate apologists for this circus were heard to opine “at least the rain is a wee bit warmer than usual”. Huge slow moving queues appeared to buy over priced food and drink and even longer queues of crabbit and drookit miserable people also formed to use the inadequate portaloos.
This woefully put together programme meant that thousands of worn out angry people left after waiting for hours in vain for the main event to start, the highlight of the show turned out to be the brief glimpses that the poor ripped off spectators managed to get of the Red Arrows display from the rather more exhilarating and professional ‘Armed Forces Day’ taking place just along the road a bit. This was of course set up to celebrate the rather more meaningful 70th. anniversary of D Day in WW2, that’s the war the snp did not want to fight in the hope that Engurland would be defeated. This by contrast was well staged and professional, oh and it was also free to the public! – the Engurlish did not win the re-enactment of the battle of Bannockburn last Saturday but , had they done so it would have surprised no one.
Make no mistake about it, this was a humiliation for salmond. Cameron could not have picked a more guaranteed method of putting on display the obvious benefits of being a part of the UK had he been invited to do so, this was stark, obvious and merciless, wee Eck despite displaying his usual ‘Chutzpah’ was crushed. He thought he could exploit Bannockburn but forgot he was dealing with a Tory, Cameron couldn’t believe his good fortune, he simply ‘seen wee Eck’s Bannockburn and raised him an Armed Forces Day’. When it comes to the political black arts you have to travel back to the Roman Senate to find the Tories equals back to when Cassius, Brutus and Casca had that famous ‘stushie’ with Caesar. Wee Eck despite his innate talent for the underhand is, when compared to the big boys of the Tory party just an enthusiastic amateur.