Dear Mr. Trump in the interests of Scottish American relations can I with all due respect offer you a way toward a peaceful solution to the problem of wind and Mr. Salmond. Have you considered a donation to the Scottish Nationalist Party? A couple of big family type suitcases full of used fivers and tenners. These should be given in the spirit intended which is of course for the good of your and wee Eck (the spiv's) beloved Scotland where I believe your maw was born. Catch a bus to the north driven by wee holy Brian Souter who knows a thing or two about donations. He can drop you on the (wee spiv's) doorstep. Think back to the ever so pleasant planning thingmy when you had something he (the spiv) wanted. Think back to when wee holy Brian also had something which wee Eck (the spiv) wanted as well.
Take heart Mr. Trump not only are you and wee eck (the spiv) patriotic Scots. you are cut from the same tartan cloth. In your position I would be thinking along the lines of Edinburgh Castle becoming "Edinburg Trump Castle – Luxury hotel and conference centre and seller of genuine locks of Bobby Burns's hair" sample Willie Wallace's blue face paint, visit Loch Lomond on a wee holy Brian tour and kiss the Blarney Stone before leaving for the USA, remember Tonald, money talks and I've heard it said when it gets to wee Eck (the spiv) it bawls and shouts. We know that we can rely on you Tonald and you Eck (the spiv) to always put our beloved Scotland first, just like big Shawn who described you both I'm told when he last threw you off his Island in the Bahamas as a "Shite for Shore eyes"