Wednesday, June 02, 2010


You have to be the product of years of living in a fantasy world; a world where reality does not encroach; your understanding of the world has to be that of a rather whimsical child. Either that or you have to be a hard faced huckster with a thick brass neck to emulate Our Majesty the Queen’s latest rip-off. She has asked for a rise in the money she gets from me and you the taxpayers of Britain; timing is everything eh? Unfortunately this is not a joke she really has asked for more money.

As the Royal wasters sit around the breakfast table attended by hot and cold running chambermaids they will no doubt lament their fate as they are reduced to their last couple of hundred million pounds and their last dozen or so castles and stately homes; fabulous cars; decorative coaches; immense collections of art and gifts from every toadying crawler in the world. Big Phil. will no doubt become all nostalgic for the good old days when they could take Ian Davidson Republican Labour M.P. out and “have the bugger shot” Davidson has requested that the Royal Family show the country the books before any such request for more money is considered; clearly a left wing Bolshevik bounder; what!

Will the Govt. agree with Mr. Davidson and ask to see the books; will they find a way of agreeing to the request which will hoodwink the public? It will be the latter probably. £6 Billion of cuts this year, that’s over the next 7 months; ouch! Rising unemployment ouch! Public services cuts ouch! Etc. ouch; etc. ouch; etc. Do they need more money I hear you bellow? well; I am not in a position to properly analyse their actual wealth which I believe to be vast but I can offer a hint as to the amount they are worth without trying to put a figure on it. Consider this; several years ago when Hooray Harry the halfwit prince was in the news for some loutish behaviour or other, a newspaper mentioned that his personal wealth was £8Million; this was a couple of years ago and will be a fair bit more now. Let’s be generous and not go into what he does if anything or how he got such a sum, I could go on all night about how the whole Ruratarian charade is an expensive affront to the nation’s intelligence but, I will content myself with asking you to mull over what they might be worth If this Royal Fool is worth this much. Then consider in turn whether you would award them a rise; you will no doubt be taken aback to learn that I would not give them a wooden nickel.

As I get older I find myself mellowing; honestly I do, if you don’t agree I’ll punch your f*****g heid in right! I would not want to cause undue distress to the ageing monarch and her old Greek retainer Phil. I would propose therefore that they carry on as normal with the proviso that they are to be the last. No more of the Royal extravaganza at our expense; no more cringing with humiliation when they appear on the balcony which creaks with the weight of medals and toy swords being worn by them. It’s now 20 10 and when their time comes it will surely be the moment to issue Charles and Camilla and all the other dim brass necked non producers with directions to the nearest job centre. That would be a good time to start dragging our country into the present and start to make some advancement.

No more Kings; Queens; Princes; Princesses; Lords; Ladies ; flunkies and forelock tuggers; it will not be easy. Ukip; the BNP; The Tories and Libdems and here in Scotland her loyal subjects in the SNP led by the crawling loyal monarchist Alex (the spiv) Salmond will defend her and the good old British Monarchy to the bitter end. No more privileged class; no more, just Citizens! Bring it on.


Byeck said...

An MP, and a Scottish Labour MP at that, asking to 'see the books!'

Given the number of Hon. Gentlemen and even Rt Hon. Gentlemen, who have been in deep doodoo for being less than honest with their expenses, that is truly Gold Medal standard chutzpah.

Cllr Terry Kelly said...

(Byeck) 02/06/10
Shooting the messenger eh! Typical.

Anonymous said...

Terry, Tales from RenfrawShire Hoouse.

I have to ask, have you heard the loud celebrations coming out of Del Boays McKay’s plush Office, as I stated on this Blogg many many months ago, Del has been crowned the person who will stand against Ms Wendy Alexander for the new constituency, for the old Paisley North seat, Lorraine Cameron’s eyes swelled and tears flowed as she found out, that Tracey McGee drank the last Tenants lager, Ms Audrey Doig bent down and kissed Del's golden ring, Mcfee, looked on and said "what if" or in his case "what not". Wee Kenny McLaren’s eyes also filled to bursting point, until someone learned that Alan Noon (Who) had sat on his tail.

Wendy though need not worry, also neither should Del Boay as he has been given the nod for 1st or 2nd place on the Nats West of Scotland list, So Terry, I ask the question again, the Nats have four list MSP's at present, they will be lucky to have four next year, so out of the current four, which or who is standing down, I have heard from sources that it is Dr Bill Wilson, who's Office Manager, Dave McCartney is a Del Boay loyalist. Del has already been to Burtons to pick up his new suit, 32 waist, 40 inch chest (He has been to the gym with Audrey Doig) 32 inch leg. Alec the spiff Salmond has already congratulated Del Boay an promised a "Danny Alexander"
Type rise (without the ginger).

Who will run Del Boays office, names in the frame, Super slime Dave the naff McCartney- Office Manager, Ms Quick dash Cameron, Office Assistant, Tea Boay & Office cleaner, Iain W Nicholson.

Secondly who will take over at Renfrawshire Hoouse? Let’s start,

Iain the huffer buffer Nicholson!
Lorraine the viper Cameron!
Bruce the slimmer McFee!

Or from what I have heard, neither any one of them, Bookies favourite is "Knock em dead " Bold Brass necked wee Brian Lawson whose Mammy told him to be back before 10pm as he has to have an early night for school in the morning

Remember where and when you read this folks, Terry Kelly’s site.

Cllr Terry Kelly said...

(Anonymous) 08/06/10
A funny and perceptive look at the Renfrewshire Gnats. The characters are very recognisable.

On a more serious note if you are right about Cllr. Mackay it would be a vindication of my opinion of the SNP; Cllr. MacKay is a figure of fun in political circles and a clear example of the lack of quality and experience in their party yet he would appear to be on the fast track.

The SNP are heading for oblivion because the people have now seen them up close; if we take Renfrewshire as an example we see that MacKay has leapfrogged the others because he is a political vacuum and stands for very little and as such he is cannon fodder for Salmond (the spiv). In much the same way as he is putty in the hands of the senior council officers (massive wage raise anyone?).

The collapse will bring a reckoning between the real Gnats. and those like Salmond; Sturgeon; Swinney and those like Mackay who have diluted the Nationalsit cause supported by Mitchell, McFee, B Lawson to such an extent that it is unrecognisable, not only is independence not mentioned but Salmond (the spiv) now has them lining up as loyal subjects of Her Gracious Majesty Queen Elizabeth the second aye that’s right, the second! “Ochone ochone tonald it’ll all end in tears”