IT 'S ALL DONE WITH MIRRORS ?

I just knew that we had not heard the last of my dear chum 'Old Bill Martin' he has come up with a wheeze that would have been applauded by the great 'Arthur Daly' remember " Terence my son, hitting old ladies over the head with a half brick is a crime, everything else is just business " listen up, here's the cunning plan, Old Bill, he of the perfectly coiffured hair ( some cruel opponents maintain it's an Irish Jig ) and the smile like the tin plate on a coffin will resign, i.e. take the 30 pieces of silver and concentrate on ironing people's smalls while his fragrant wife Caroline will stand for election in his place. Thus will a lump sum ( £20,000 )? be secured and the remuneration from the council be maintained, can the SNP afford to lose a man of such initiative ? surely not. Can sweet Caroline win the seat? will the people of Glenburn stand for it? anyone who has met her or seen her at council meetings could not help but be won over by her, the perfect manners, the friendly smile, the sweet disposition and the recent ringing endorsement from the Standards Commission ( look it up ) must surely stand her in good stead. Surely it's the SNP's loss ! Old Bill, Sweet Caroline and of course the Boay Vassie are now the keepers of the independence flame while the Faint hearts led by the Boay Mackay have deserted the cause, poor bonnie Scotland, broken and abandoned by the SNP fearties, you would need to have a heart of stone not to laugh.