“I TOOK MY HARP TO THE PARTY BUT NO ONE ASKED ME TO PLAY” ALEX SALMOND – SEPTEMBER 21 20 13, EDINBURGH.

The snp's Nicola Sturgeon bullishly and rather comically announced a crowd of 30,000 which is a nice tidy number and represents 0.6% of the population of Scotland give or take a few. The "Harry Margolis" or Polis as we here in the west call them announced a dangerously precise sounding number of 8,300 which is 0.16% of the people of Scotland, heads are no doubt swimming at the colossal figures, imagine the logistics of stewarding such a gathering, I understand the Scottish Association Cubs, Scouts, Brownies and Guides provided the extra stewards required to support the overstretched Polis.

The discrepancy arises of course with the contradictory calculations of the not quite gigantic numbers who attended the so called "march for freedom" led by the snp in Auld Reekie today. There were in fact just to confuse things further 3 estimates of the numbers, 8,300 by the rozzers, 15,ooo by the organisers and 30, 000 by the cerebrally challenged Nicola Sturgeon, it was ever thus I hear you experienced marchers say. The inevitable jokes have started with the pitiless and derisory description of the event as a stroll rather than a march for freedom, people can be unkind can't they? But; on the other hand people do not like political parties so blatantly trying to; as our American friends say "blow smoke up their asses" with "asses" being rewritten to replace the good old British word "arses" meaning of course that the political party in question is lying about the numbers.

A rather meaningless football match at Celtic park today attracted 6 or 7 times the lowest estimate; 4 times the middle estimate and 2 times the highest estimate, woe and twice woe and even bloody well thrice woe for the wretched snp it would seem, ochone, ochone , o'f******g'one, the game's a bogey. The appalling fact is that Hibs and Hearts draw bigger crowds and they are unarguably utter s***e . It looks like car boot sales will see a rush in kilts and wee toy daggers for sale over the next couple of months as the remnants of the snp rabble lug themselves " hameward tae think again" meanwhile the Scottish Police Force will have to endure the indignation of being placed on the burgeoning list of organisations who are part of the great Global anti snp conspiracy, they will be distraught, no doubt about it, Polis heads will roll under an snp dominated separate Scotland.

With apologies to TS Elliot, and for the snp.

"this is how the world ends, this is how the world ends, not with a bang but with a whimper" this by the way hurts me as much as it hurts them and many other Scots. honest it does.