SWIMMING, BOXING, OLYMPIC GREATS AND HORSE S**T.

I am getting old or lazy or perhaps both. I was recently corrected on my Blog by one of my critics called (Byeck) it sounds a bit Emmerdaleish I know. He/She took great pleasure in reminding me that one of our countries greatest ever Olympians Princess Ann did not as I stated actually win an Olympic medal. Never having been one to let a blow remain unanswered I decided to write a bit about the Olympics as a kind of retaliation so if you like it; thank him/her and of course if you don't like it? Well you can blame him/her for that as well. I wrote to him as follows.

Thank you for correcting me, she competed but did not win a medal, she did however win the BBC's Sports personality of the Year award which put all those footballers, boxers, athletes and swimmers in their place. They were all overawed when confronted by such a giant of the sporting world in their midst.

I wonder if you noticed that Zara owns a horse box. 'De Rigueur' I suppose for one who rides horses at such expert levels. At a price of £500,000 I was comforted to know that this particular horse box ensured that this royal parasite was well looked after. 

Capable of carrying 6 horses and 6 humans with sleeping, dining, toilet and leisure facilities it is no less I'm sure you will agree than she deserves, the humans BTW on this magnificent vehicle are the ones without tails. 

The much lauded success of the GB Horse riding team was however slightly punctured by one of their number who made a mistake and cost them the gold medal, can you guess who that was?

This bit did not go to him/her.

Readers of this Blog will have heard me complain about sports which should not be classed a s Olympic competitions including anything to do with horses. If you want to know why consider the case of the Royal parasites Ann and Zara. The things I have watched most so far are boxing and swimming and I have no hesitation in saying the TV coverage has been bloody awful for both. Once the swimming race starts it is impossible to tell where each swimmer is, if the commentator says the American and the Korean are neck and neck in lanes 5&6 by the time you start counting lanes to find them the camera has switched angles and they wear caps which are mostly similar so you are lost. They used to superimpose the swimmers national flag behind him/her in the lane which made it easier and more enjoyable. Also they have inexplicably removed the information strap line in the corner of the screen telling you what the race is e.g. the stage , final, semi final etc. and the distance and stroke etc. The coverage has gone backwards. every swimmer who shows up ready to compete should be identifiable, swimmers who show up with shaved heads should be compelled to have their heads painted in their country's colours.

The boxing is the same once the fight is on if you missed the start there is no information on the screen to tell you who they are and what stage of the competition they are at or which weight they are fighting at. By far the worst part of the coverage was the removal of the constant score card at the corner of the screen which lit up a red or blue light when a boxer scored a point, a brilliant innovation when introduced and now abandoned. My theory is that the judges did not like the idea of millions of fans watching and shouting at their TV's "where the f**k did that red/blue light come from he never touched him or, why the f**K did no light come on there he belted the guy etc. Some of the decisions have been inexplicable as well, I predict a shakeup in how Olympic boxing is conducted in future.

The incredibly laid back and effortlessly charming Michael Phelps is the greatest Olympic swimmer ever but if you call him the greatest Olympian ever you might find yourself having to call someone else in the future the greatest Olympian ever because that person has won more medals than anyone else and it could be for christ's sake a horse rider. Oh for christ's sake it could be a roya----- I can't say it.