HOORAY HENRY TO THE RESCUE AS ARMY NUMBERS FALL.

Military types and lounge bar commandoes have been on a roller coaster ride over the past 2 days, rumours about massive army job losses turned out to be true causing much grief and sullenness among those who serve and those who have served. 5,300 heroes are for the bagwash, the mallet, the bullet, if you will pardon the pun. The numbers who will be sent 'down the road' will present problems, unemployment of course will be one, considering that an average 800 a year are dishonourably discharged for drug offences a rise in drug taking would not surprise anyone either. Since the greatest homogeneous group to be found in our prisons and mental hospitals are ex army personnel it would seem reasonable to expect extra strain on these services as well, sobering thoughts indeed.

Where stands the protection of the realm though and how much do these redundancies weaken and damage the safety of our country? 5,300 men trained to kill and obey orders are not easily replaced; do you feel safer without them? Fortunately the stories, pictures and interviews of the past few days can serve to reassure us that we can all sleep safe and sound at night knowing that the 5,300 will not be missed as long as we have Prince Harry. Handsome, valiant, gallant and royal; what a package. Sober or soused he's the man for the job, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and slaughter 20 fuzzy wuzzies with a rolled up copy of the London Times before getting pissed and going swimming with naked young women. It's a great life in the army! The newspapers are now telling us that he is now a killer; the template of the warrior prince is now complete. What they have not told us though is whether the person or persons he killed were men, women or children or indeed if they were tied up and blindfolded when he carried out his heroic task.

All this and a royal baby on the way, is it any wonder the wee Spiv Salmond threw in his lot with the Queen of Britain?

HOW MUCH LONGER CAN SALMOND AND THE SNP KEEP UP THE PRETENCE OF A POSSIBLE REFERENDUM VICTORY

As the support for independence slips to 28% and shows signs of dropping further the people wait patiently for the snp/separatist/cybernats to tell us what independence will look like. What will happen to our pensions, what will happen to jobs, what currency will we use and many many more questions. The numbers still talking bullish snp claptrap are dwindling and are looking more and more like Napoleon's 'Old Guard' ready to die on the battlefield for the emperor Salmond, no matter how many times he lets them down or lies to them, blind loyalty? Gullible? the personality cult? It was ever thus. Some people need someone to die for; they have nothing to give but loyalty; no initiative, no spark of intelligence, waiting to be led like cattle.

"Pity the poor country that needs heroes" (Bertlot Brecht) he could have been talking about Scotland and the snp, from the invented William Wallace; through Bruce, Rob Roy? To Oor Wullie and Benny Lynch they need heroes. Even the shyster Salmond will suffice for the more cerebrally challenged. After 70 odd years of the snp demanding independence they are unable to tell us what it is about. They can sing about it and march in it's favour, threaten to die for it, even duff up the odd Englishman for it if he is not too big and there are enough of them together but explain it? Alas no.

It looks like they are heading for a humiliation when the vote is eventually taken and some of them if their language on newspaper comment blogs are anything to go by are beginning to unravel. They are now at the stage where anyone who is voting No is "not a real Scot." or even a "traitor or a coward" these people will take defeat very badly and I predict civil unrest if they get enough to drink. These kilted drink sodden hoards of bearded, tattooed snarling chib carrying thugs will take to the streets and the men of the snp will be no better.

I further predict that when the balloon goes up the first rat with a lifebelt will be the wee spiv Salmond he will be off like a rat up a roan pipe, having made the bullets he will leave the tartan clad rabble to fire them. It will be a time where it becomes prudent to lie low if you have an Engurlish accent.

"them that dies will be the lucky ones" (Long John Silver)

“I WISH I WAS A SPACEMAN THE FASTEST GUY ALIVE, I’D FLY AROUND THE UNIVERSE IN FIREBALL XL5” GERRY ANDERSON R.I.P.

Years ago I heard the creator of Joe Ninety, Miss. Penelope and Fireball XL5 the late great Gerry Anderson being interviewed on radio and he told this charming true story about himself, it sums him up delightfully. He was visiting the Kennedy Space Centre and he went for lunch only to find the place full except for a table with one guy who agreed to share his table with him. Anderson noticed that the guy wore a space centre badge and he asked him what he did and the fellow said he worked there at Kennedy.
Anderson was fascinated and asked him if he had ever seen a launch and he said no he had not, they had a pleasant lunch and the guy gave Anderson his 'card' as he shook hands and left. On the card it said USA Astronaut Commander James Lovelle. Anderson had a good laugh at the great Space legend Jim. Lovelle telling him he had never seen a launch which of course he hadn't as he was up in the nose cone of the space ship on several launches and didn't see anything, he was of course played by Tom Hanks in the thrilling movie Apollo 13 and I believe he also holds the American record for most space miles. They became friends and it is typical of Anderson to relate this story where he was the punch line, a lovely guy who stirred the imagination of millions of kids and some grownups too, I hope he's up there zooming around somewhere.