THE DUNDEE POLITICIAN V THE GLASGOW COMEDIAN.

Latest reports just in reveal that George Galloway has once again edged ahead in the epic battle between him and Frankie Boyle in their race to the bottom. Has Boyle run out of bile and spleen or can he dip once more in to the seemingly bottomless pit of malevolent lurid anecdotes and personal experiences which have sustained him over the years?

Can George though keep up the pressure, will his alleged legendary ability to get down and dirty when the chips are down see him triumph? Following George's latest sojourn in to the world of rape and dodgy sexual behaviour, he seems to be favourite. One can't help but admire his apparent expertise and wonder about the women he has known. Speculation is rife about whether George will name names in relation to those ex partners who may or may not have been given a rude awakening by him. I suppose when all is said and done that Frankie and Georgie might agree that they are after all only women right?

Who will win, the smooth debonair Glaswegian or the rough n tumble Dundee corner boy, have I got that right? Perhaps I should just say which bampot will win?

IT’S MONTY SALMOND’S FLYING BREAD AND CIRCUS.

As the dust settles after the Olympics I have been reflecting on how the snp played their hand and I have to say very badly. They spent 5 years rubbishing the games and their London location; they saw this location as a godsend for them to stir up anti English sentiment and Scottish resentment. Too late they concluded that the games were going to be very popular and they were going to look like whinging scrooges thus adding to Scotland's reputation for being Bible black and mean.

Salmond said do something to get us out of this hole or heads will roll; and in common with most hurried panic schemes we got a botched project which caused hilarity and embarrassment by turns for Scotland and its people. I was reminded of the saying "there are very few bad situations that the arrival of a crowd of Scots. (the snp) on the make can't make worse" Down to London charged Salmond and his entourage of placemen and women as well as his Praetorian Guard whose job it is to keep people away from him. Armed with their very own custom made Scottish cutlery sets and Saltire napkins they cut a menacing and unruly sight particularly when the whiff of food and drink reached their snouts. Observers described them in trembling tones as like a "pack of starving dugs in a black pudden factory"

This now infamous project or "junket" as some have unkindly called it; cost nearly £500,000 for 2 weeks. Just like a fortnight at the 'but n ben' in Rothesay. Unfortunately for wee Eck (the spiv) it became known that they had hired a building owned by the Army and Navy when they could have used the ex Scotttish Office residence "Dover House" which was a couple of minutes away for nothing. Anyway they spent approximately £35,000 a day on this adventure; it was as they say a "dirty dangerous job but someone had to do it" Oh! And did you know that these people are running Scotland and, they want you to vote for independence?

If that vote ever comes remember that this snp fiasco is a real example of what they really think about you, the people of Scotland.

THE PEOPLE V BALFOUR BEATTIE – FRI. AUGUST 24 2012 11 AM HILLINGTON. BE THERE!

Our neighbours and fellow compassionate Scots. local employers Balfour Beatty continue to employ people off the street when current workers are on their redundancy notice and they continue to break our national agreements. Balfour Beatty are also major blacklisters of construction workers and union activists recently named and shamed after the raid on the offices of the Consulting Association.

Join with the Scottish Rank and File and the Blacklist Support Group in demonstrating against this despicable outfit at Balfour Beatty HQ in Hillington, Glasgow next Friday 24th August at 11am.

Let's together send a clear message to Balfour Beatty and the other blacklisters and wretches that we will not go away until justice is done, blacklisted workers are in employment and national agreements are being adhered to.

 

Some people talk about such despicable anti union anti worker practices as if they were the bad old days, unfortunately they are not. These union busting corporate thugs are still with us and make no mistake about it their aim is to drive worker's wages and conditions to as low a level as they can. They quite literally couldn't care less if you are struggling to put food on the table or buy school clothes for your children. These employers are the enemy; there is no other suitable word for them, not just the enemy of the Balfour Beattie workers or union members everywhere but the enemy of civilisation itself, the rat race is for rats and they are no better than that. What do you do with the enemy? You fight them, and fight them we will.

My Comrade and fellow Labour Councillor Jim Harte is an active Trade Unionist and he is involved in trying to outlaw "blacklisting" the practice is illegal but the authorities are doing nothing to stop
it. Let's give them a reminder that we are not going to go away we will stand and fight and we can start by supporting the protest detailed above in this article. Being a big company and known worldwide makes no difference when you have the morals of a rat, when the great Nye Bevan famously compared the Tories with vermin he was talking about people like Balfour Beattie. Time to fight back.

IAN DAVIDSON MP (LABOUR) 1 v the snp 0

Those still interested in the snp's pursuit of Ian Davidson who watched last night's Scottish news programmes would have been given a large hint about who is winning this spat. There sitting like a frightened rabbit caught in the headlights of an approaching juggernaut sat Linda Fabiani snp MSP. Like the previous night's act of cruelty in putting up the embarrassing Derek Mackay against Henry McLeish to tackle Gordon Brown's recent speech, this ALSO was an act bordering on cruelty. No Swinney, no Salmond, no Sturgeon, no Russell, no one in fact.

The wretched and visibly miserable Ms. Fabiani tried to land a blow by complaining that Mr. Davidson's Parliamentary Committee had no snp representative. Was anyone wondering if he might have been ready for that one? Not she apparently as he reminded her that they (the snp) did in fact have a representative on the committee but she was a serial truant. She of course being the snp nonentity who crashed and burned when the snp senior figures who fitted her up got 'offsky' and left her to face the music alone after trying to smear Ian Davidson, whatever happened to her? Then we had the Davidson/Findlaygate smear attempt, where did that go?

Anyway; anyone looking for the snarling, bullying, obnoxious Ian Davidson of snp mythology would have been wondering what all the fuss was about as he tolerantly allowed Ms. Fabiani to talk herself out as she demonstrated how bare her cupboard was. He gently and patiently explained to her how wrong and misinformed she was. Rather like a stern but fair school teacher trying to assist a struggling pupil.

Look out for the snp having another go at Davidson, he is their number one bogey man because he scares them and he has given them several 'doings' my guess is that having tried to smear him several times they will try again and we will if I am any judge see more 'doings' being dished out by this outstanding MP. A formidable opponent? Yes, but no ogre as the snp would have you believe, their attitude to Davidson is if you can't beat him smear him. He gives the impression though that he is able for them; that was an understatement BTW.

WHEN GORDON BROWN SPEAKS THE WHOLE WORLD (EXCEPT THE SNP) LISTENS.

Virtuoso performance from Gordon Brown at the book festival, a half hour wide ranging speech without notes demonstrating his prowess as a statesman and political/intellectual heavyweight. His grasp of economics, international and national affairs remains as always; simply awesome.

The decision by BBC Scotland to have Henry McLeish in the studio to discuss brown's speech however only served to highlight the obvious gap in intelligence and charisma which exists between Brown and McLeish, Henry is not alone here though. Their other decision however to put the snp's MSP Derek Mackay in the same position as McLeish though could only be described as downright cruel.

“IT’S A DIRTY DANGEROUS JOB BUT SOMEONE HAS GOT TO DO IT” (ALEX SALMOND)

 

I received a comment from a rather loosely wrapped snp supporter, foaming at the mouth and chewing the carpet by the sound of him. Most of it is as you would expect unprintable as are a growing number of them as the yes campaign looks more and more like it is being run by the "Marx Brotherss" with Harpo as their spokesman. He finished with this little gem. "new Labour ie pink tory" champagne socialists are still predominant in your party" This made ME laugh and led me to put pen to paper as follows.

And what is the 'bevvy' of choice and indeed the colour of Mr. Salmond and his flunkies who are struggling manfully on behalf of poor old Scotland while spending a fortnight in London at a cost of £200,000 a week, rising according to today's reports to £35,000 a day.

He (Salmond) has been training for this it seems, he once in times past boasted the ability to be able to scoff £800 worth of London allowance grub when Parliament was in recess, a Herculean feat I'm sure you will agree. To raise his table performances from £800 a month then to £35,000 a day now must make him surely the greatest Scolympian of all time. Not for nothing in London is he referred to in hushed reverential tones by his hosts as the "starving Scottish dug in the black pudding factory"

Some say he is a devious wee b*****d who never goes anywhere without his personal knife and fork set in his pocket, some say he is a Scottish hero, perhaps you dear readers can be the judges of that for yourselves. Let's hope the Thames barrier is working in case he gets Brahms and List and falls in the river, I'm just saying, ken?

GOOD DAY FOLKS AND WELCOME TO EDINBURGH AND MODERN DAY SCOTLAND!

Many Scots. agree with me that arguably the greatest artist who ever lived was Pablo Picasso. Among many other things he was an inveterate painter of women, hundreds of them, possibly thousands of them, short; tall; fat; thin and in almost every conceivable stage of dress and undress you could imagine. He could paint a beautiful woman and make it look like an expensive photograph, he could then paint the same woman and portray her with her nose, ears, mouth and eyes all jumbled around in different positions but you knew at a glance that it was the same beautiful woman, in fact Pablo was a right smart arse of a painter who didn't give much of a f**k about what people thought or indeed or even particularly; artistic convention. He divided opinion in his day to a fearsome degree and to a lesser extent still does today. My younger brother Shug once stood looking at a Picasso in the Glasgow Art Galleries, he stood back, he leant forward, looked from this side and that, I believe he actually stroked his chin meaningfully before offering his judgement which was "naw ah don't see it at aw, it's f****n s***e, oor Francis (younger again and a painter) could dae better" I am no expert and on this great debate Shug and me disagree ,but I consider him to be one of the most fascinating and gifted men (Pablo not Shug) who ever lived and so do a lot of other people, so, why am I talking about him in a Scottish context?

The Scottish Gallery of Modern Art is running an exhibition of the great man's work backed by a suitably expensive and dynamic campaign to make sure everyone knows about it "gaun yersell that Gallery" I hear you shout. What could go wrong with that, what indeed? Well as you disembark at Edinburgh Airport your walk through the terminal building takes you past some of the aforementioned attempts to persuade you to take in the Picasso exhibition. One of which is the stunning painting called'nude woman in a red armchair. Some people however were outraged and complained; rumour has it that some particularly diligent God botherers said that the image reeked of debauchery, the cowardly airport authorities to Scotland's undying shame covered it up. It's now back on display after protestors mad a fuss about the move but, that's not the point. Needless to say the airport is not short of images of semi naked women (and men) advertising all kinds of junk with impunity. Why a Picasso nude? I hear you plead, I wish I knew. One of my daughters once asked me what women's breasts were for and I thought about it wondering what the catch was and I eventually said babies and milk, she replied no they are not they are for selling bloody cars.

Nude Woman in a Red Armchair was covered up at the airport.

Picasso painted women as opposed to the impossible images which bombard us today of them, life is hard enough because of the lack of equality for females and it is made well nigh impossible by the parasites who blackmail them into having to look like catwalk models.

If the complainers were Scottish they should have been told to eff off and if they were from abroad they should have been politely advised that the flight they came in on was refuelling and they were welcome to reboard and go right back home. Scotland needs an enema.

 

 

 

IS THE REFERENDUM FADING AWAY? I THINK SALMOND IS HOPING SO.

My late friend Davie Speirs used to love a joke and some were quite elaborate, a degree of patience was involved sometimes to hear it through though. Sometimes, some of his legendary stories could stretch over the length of 2 or 3 pubs. This referendum makes me think of one of these stories because it's become interminable and comical. Davie was a blues/Folk/Ragtime/Jazz guitar player and singer with a huge repertoire of songs, stories and tunes, he could also get you to laugh watching a burning orphanage. One night he was playing at a 'doo' among lots of political types including some noisy drunken snp supporters who engaged him in conversation. He had sung some Scottish ballads and they wrongly assumed he was "one of them"

He gathered them around him and told the story of the death of Bonnie Prince Charlie in reverential tones, a feat of disingenuous creativity as he usually referred to "peas n barley" due to his sexual reputation as 'wee yo yo breeks' Anyway he told them how he escaped the English Redcoats despite being wounded but they caught up and he sustained another wound. He was clearly dying and his braveheart companions carried him off again across the moors and heather and all that usual stuff you get in Scottish stories. Near death they laid him down in a field and gathered stones to place around him to keep the wind off him. Sadly he passed away and his men rather than let the dirty English swines find him gathered more stones and built a large structure around and over him. And then said Davie this is the origin of the song "Bonnie Chairlie 's noo a wah" (now a wall geddit?) well if looks could kill the drunken picts would have killed him, it was turning ugly and all Davie could do was laugh himself in to a black knot at their faces.

There is now a suggestion that the referendum may have to wait until 20 15. Approximately 5 years ago Wendy Alexander challenged Alex Salmond to "bring it on" He of course didn't "bring it on" for the same reason as he refuses to do so now, he fears impending humiliation and the end of his political career which is usually what happens to single issue politicians.

So by the time we get to the referendum if it actually happens and if it's 20 15 we will have been waiting 8 years since that challenge was made. Is there anyone still in any doubt who won the bragging rights in that famous exchange?

I wish Davie was here to comment on it, he would be scathing, hilarious and as always; hard left, I see him sitting playing the guitar with a glass beside him laughing his head off at the cybernats and Scots wha havers, he is much missed.

SWIMMING, BOXING, OLYMPIC GREATS AND HORSE S**T.

I am getting old or lazy or perhaps both. I was recently corrected on my Blog by one of my critics called (Byeck) it sounds a bit Emmerdaleish I know. He/She took great pleasure in reminding me that one of our countries greatest ever Olympians Princess Ann did not as I stated actually win an Olympic medal. Never having been one to let a blow remain unanswered I decided to write a bit about the Olympics as a kind of retaliation so if you like it; thank him/her and of course if you don't like it? Well you can blame him/her for that as well. I wrote to him as follows.

Thank you for correcting me, she competed but did not win a medal, she did however win the BBC's Sports personality of the Year award which put all those footballers, boxers, athletes and swimmers in their place. They were all overawed when confronted by such a giant of the sporting world in their midst.

I wonder if you noticed that Zara owns a horse box. 'De Rigueur' I suppose for one who rides horses at such expert levels. At a price of £500,000 I was comforted to know that this particular horse box ensured that this royal parasite was well looked after. 

Capable of carrying 6 horses and 6 humans with sleeping, dining, toilet and leisure facilities it is no less I'm sure you will agree than she deserves, the humans BTW on this magnificent vehicle are the ones without tails. 

The much lauded success of the GB Horse riding team was however slightly punctured by one of their number who made a mistake and cost them the gold medal, can you guess who that was?

This bit did not go to him/her.

Readers of this Blog will have heard me complain about sports which should not be classed a s Olympic competitions including anything to do with horses. If you want to know why consider the case of the Royal parasites Ann and Zara. The things I have watched most so far are boxing and swimming and I have no hesitation in saying the TV coverage has been bloody awful for both. Once the swimming race starts it is impossible to tell where each swimmer is, if the commentator says the American and the Korean are neck and neck in lanes 5&6 by the time you start counting lanes to find them the camera has switched angles and they wear caps which are mostly similar so you are lost. They used to superimpose the swimmers national flag behind him/her in the lane which made it easier and more enjoyable. Also they have inexplicably removed the information strap line in the corner of the screen telling you what the race is e.g. the stage , final, semi final etc. and the distance and stroke etc. The coverage has gone backwards. every swimmer who shows up ready to compete should be identifiable, swimmers who show up with shaved heads should be compelled to have their heads painted in their country's colours.

The boxing is the same once the fight is on if you missed the start there is no information on the screen to tell you who they are and what stage of the competition they are at or which weight they are fighting at. By far the worst part of the coverage was the removal of the constant score card at the corner of the screen which lit up a red or blue light when a boxer scored a point, a brilliant innovation when introduced and now abandoned. My theory is that the judges did not like the idea of millions of fans watching and shouting at their TV's "where the f**k did that red/blue light come from he never touched him or, why the f**K did no light come on there he belted the guy etc. Some of the decisions have been inexplicable as well, I predict a shakeup in how Olympic boxing is conducted in future.

The incredibly laid back and effortlessly charming Michael Phelps is the greatest Olympic swimmer ever but if you call him the greatest Olympian ever you might find yourself having to call someone else in the future the greatest Olympian ever because that person has won more medals than anyone else and it could be for christ's sake a horse rider. Oh for christ's sake it could be a roya----- I can't say it.